- Author of "Intellectual Morons" Dan Flynn. http://www.flynnfiles.com/
- Al "created" new word "Moronism"
- Outside whooey, inside pooey <–saying in the south
- They named a library after a communist?
Moronism
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Category Archives: Quotes
Shut your fat mouth
- will you stop being rude and shut your fat mouth? to caller who keeps calling Al a chicken hawk ’cause he won’t take his radio show to Iraq, etc.
- what are they letting people out with a weekend pass from the hospital this week? to caller who said he was a radical patriot… where do you get your information… from the men’s room wall? what number drink are you on tonight, I just want to know? what’s the title of the last textbook you read? probably Dr. Suess, the cat in the hat.
Since God was wearing underpants
- the Palestinians have been trying to kill Jews since God was wearing underpants
Don Hewitt
- The last time Don Hewitt (Executive Producer of 60 Minutes) voted for a Republican, Jesus Christ was in a manger. (after Hewitt declared he wasn’t sure if he was going to vote for Kerry)
A bloodless coup
- cell phone is a modern peep show… you only get a quick peek
- are you guys sitting around discussing your… uhhh? (about caller and Dr. talking about bowel movements)
- http://www.drmcdougall.com/
- it wouldn’t be the first time we’ve been gross on the show
- Dr. said olive oil is bad and you’ll just be… Al finished his sentence by saying "oily"
- Bruin Republicans there… that was a nice Mercedes you guys drove up in… after the update about them receiving so much $ in donations
- "Conservative activism should be welcomed" by Garin Hovannisian
- Mecha referred to Al as a clown and he hopes they’re still laughing at the clown
- Daily Bruin Online story acknowledging Al Rantel
- Like saying Mussolini made the trains run on time
- How do they feel about the Bruin Democrats?
- Bruin Republicans is the most well-funded group at UCLA
- Send checks made out to Bruin Republicans to P.O. 790, Los Angeles, CA 90016
- located in Santa Monica… speaking of the left and the far left (said during Dr. Mark Berman ad)
- A bloodless coup, see how we Republicans [do things] (about current president leaving)
- When liberals start worrying about how you look, you know you’re doing the right thing
- He’s worried about me giving him 30 seconds and he hung up (about idiot black caller trying to insult the Bruin Republicans about their Affirmative Action bake sale)
- Am I bronze enough? Can I get into Mecha?
- the lady that talks like a lady (about UCLA lady professor said she didn’t want to hear that "conservative bullshit")
- this Friday, March 12 with David Horowitz at 7pm at UCLA Moore 100 lecture hall
- the left is busy doing their dirty work in secret
- quoted unknown "by their deeds, you shall know them" (about Cal-State Northridge professor forwarding letter to his own attorney to watch the Bruin Republicans activities which he claimed was a borderline fascist group)
- you aren’t saying the members of Mecha have no "cojones" are you? (about them not showing up Friday)
- here we are (after break) causing great fear on the campus of UCLA
- Oh, we should have more Atheists in America? (said tongue-in-cheek)… 90% of Americans believe in God and that’s why we’re a great country because we’re a moral country
- their e-mail is bruingop@ucla.edu
Put her in the cargo hold
- face is stuck in a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken, that’s the medical condition… about fat people
- you want to weigh 300 lbs and look like a walking jabba the hut, that’s your business
- 1 in $10 in medical dollars is being spent on fat people
- you are costing the nation by your unhealthy habits (when you see a fat person, including one in the mirror)
- Sandy from NAAFA Unless KFC is considered a vegetable… maybe a barrel of KFC is considered a vegetable
- She said she ate only vegetables, but what was she doing with them, dipping them in cheese or putting them on top of pizza
- I’m probably going to make people fatter (about him talking about dipping Pizza Hut chicken wings in ranch, etc. making him hungry)
- she’s probably getting 12 dinners (about fat woman in grocery store complaining there’s no low-carb stuff)
- exercise and take in less calories than you burn
- If you sit in front of the TV and walk to the fridge and say "I only eat vegetables, etc." You’ll be fat.
- Ever see a fat skeleton? some say "I’ve got big bones, etc"
- when you die, your skeleton’s going to look like every other skeleton
- I’m not trying to be cruel, I’m just big on personal responsibility
- 6 oreos out of the vending machine… half a grapefruit was like a morsel (fat woman had claimed she only ate that)
- Most people are fat because of bad lifestyle choices
- Addicted? Put the fork down! (while talking to a nurse caller Debbie)
- So, the food jumps from the plate into their mouth?
- Unless the food jumps from the bucket of chicken to their mouth, don’t tell me it’s not a choice
- What’s complex is the way people handle their food… they do have a choice
- When I go home tonight and I’m hungry… if I choose to eat 12 chicken wings and a pizza… but I don’t want to be fat and unhealthy
- I think people need a little shame to get on the ball
- Debbie, how much do you weigh? (170 but was 250)
- What were you eating when you were 80 lbs more? Don’t tell me salad
- The skinny person can’t get out as long as you keep eating jelly doughnuts
- Gallon of Haagen Dasz ice cream or a bag of carrots? We know which one would be more fun to eat. They are not addicted to Haagen Dasz. What flavor was that… Pistachio… oh, Pistachio Pistachio
- I like how people talk in code… about carrying it well
- Did you ever call Richard Simmons and cry? You weren’t that desperate.
- ***with John Kearns*** How fat are people over there, [to John]?
- John talked about the tubby tax and about American salads being the size of a garden
- This woman (Sandy) weighed 340 lbs and had the nerve to say she only ate vegetables
- John: "you can’t walk around the U.K. and not find 5 multiple chin American food places"
- How about alcohol, John, is it ok to have beer?
- Why should I have to be crammed… slammed into my seat because she’s too fat?
- We could put her in the cargo hold.
- I’m haunted on the airplane either by fat people or crying babies… what about fat crying babies.
- 5’9" 11 stone (john) Al said "we have no idea what that means"
- 5’11" and between 165 and 170 (Al)
- John said that’s huge, massive. Al said it’s not, have to do his stone conversion (14 lbs per stone)
- Somebody found a stone and decided it was 14 lbs?
- I’ve gotten so use to not coming out of a club smelling like a cigarette
- You eat 800 calories and only burn 400, you’ll be fat
- Jennifer Holiday (fat black singer) is huge here after John said she’s not huge there
- I think we just insulted all the people in Ireland (about them not having any good food)
Cell phone service
- what if the cow jumped over the moon [same as] what if she had sex with 3 guys in 3 days (about Kobe’s accuser).
- You know me, I’m always up on the latest (response to caller saying Al’s the only one covering "this")
- We have cell phone service like a third world country… I see people walking around Iraq with better cell phone service (after call from Kevin James dropped out)
Larry (Elder), you’re turning me on
- Larry [Elder], you’re turning me on, stop! (about Cruz Bustamante in a 2-piece [swimsuit])
- Has the moving truck pulled up to Gray Davis’ house yet? (6:52pm)
- Come out and read the meters…? scary to see him knocking on your door (about Mr. KABC‘s prediction about Davis working for Edison)
- Even a blind squirrel occasionally bumps into an acorn (about Gray succeeding)
- On December 25, the LA Times will be telling you that a fat man will be coming down your chimney, so make sure the fireplace is on (in response to Mr. KABC sarcastically saying the LA Times report that 92% of voters favor Davis, 92% blah blah blah)
- When the LA Times reported that Gray Davis had few friends, I thought they were kidding (after hearing from reporter at Davis headquarters where there’s only 6 people there at the Biltmore as of 8:27pm and those 6 are reporters).
Some things are a lost cause
- Imagine you’re on the poseidon adventure and Gray Davis pops out of a hole to help you and says let’s go this way
- voters are saying Bill Simon is a movie they’ve already seen
- Moving from San Francisco to Las Vegas is like going from a mansion to a trailer
- Some things are a lost cause
- When you see a bum on the street, sometimes you have to have the testicular fortitude to say no
- I-15 to Vegas closed from Baker on north. So, if you’re going to Vegas, you have to go through Arizona, so be sure to pick up your worker’s comp.
- When you’re going down and life saver candy starts to look good the zzyzxz road would seem like a great place to live…although that’s still in california
- if you’ve got a dying patient, his liver’s bad, you can’t worry about his fingernail
- maybe it’ll snow in the desert (about McClintock winning)
- the jury is ready to give the death penalty (about guest saying "the jury is out")
- a lot of people don’t think we went to the moon in 1969 (about guest saying a lot of democrats don’t buy the 2000 election was legitimate)
- last time Kevin James was here, we had a fight
- I would rather leave Gray Davis in office for another 20 years than sit in a 20 mile backup on the 15
- travel advice from Rob Marenko legal advice from Kevin James love advice from Miss Monya
- I feel like Mr. KABC chatting with Rob Marenko
- O. J. Simpson, otherwise known as the double killer as Gloria Allred dubbed him
- he should be hanging out at the cutlery store
- O. J. is a piece of human garbage who should be flushed down the toilet somewhere