They are apoplectic [in Hollywood]… after discussing ABCs Commander-in-Chief show mimicking George W. Bush handling of 9/11 and Katrina.

I’ve heard of restoring an old house… but…

• saudi arabia is in the 7th century, no let’s be nice and say they’re in the 9th century. (about the woman in trouble for driving her sick husband to the hospital)
• when you say British citizens, you’d think the Pet Shop Boys were blowing up people on the subway (about the media depiction of the terrorists)
• Oh I’m a terrorist? (caller called Al a bastard and terrorist) we reached the cul-de-sac in the conversation.
• there’s a 3 drink minimum to listen to this show.
• there’s a sport in this town about hating the cops.

• goes to show you when you play yourself in a movie, you do pretty well (about Tim Robbins nice acting job in Spielberg’s War of the Worlds)
• [end of movie] was as corny as Moses’ toes
• it’s like the Quakers were invading

• this is a great place to be which is why I wish people would leave. just kind of fell down cause the cement got old (about berlin wall).
• which arab country are they from?
• not all muslims are terrorists but all terrorists are muslims.
• Yeah, they’re from Denmark, they’re from Holland (tongue in cheek)… we know where they’re from.
• it is looking to destroy our country…
• they must be killed before they kill us
• "ooh they have to be talked to… blah blah" NO, they have to be killed!
• I’d rather be alive than be politically correct… than to be dead and politically correct… don’t want to be "anti-muslim" ya know…
• the appeaser is the man who hopes the crocodile will eat him last (apparently what Churchill said about the Nazis)
• oh the leftover Gay-Pride Parade music is playing (coming back from a break)
• you’re worried about yourself, clean up your group (to arabs and Muslims)
• if I’m standing at the ATM machine… and it’s 2am and there’s nobody there… and you hear footsteps… and look back and you see a young black male or older black female approaching you… does it make you more racist? no, it just makes you smart. chances are there’s no problem but you’re more cautious.
• antelopes profiles when he sees the lion, he runs but not with a butterfly
• one plane with young arabs or one of blonde swedes, which plane are you getting on?
• sometimes the donkey has to be hit twice as hard
• if saudis grew artichokes, we might be able to say shove it.
• you give the rat a cookie, the next day he’s comes for a glass of milk.

• Al talked about his horrifying (snowy) weekend trip on the 15 to and from Vegas.
• If you can’t predict that there’s a snowstorm coming in a few hours, you can’t predict what the weather’s going to be like in 5, 10 or 50 years (making fun of these idiot Global Warming fools)
• Some woman on a radio station out of Barstow suggested motorists pull over and have a cup of coffee. Where, in a bush?
• Mentioned there were even women pulling over and peeing while standing. Never seen anything like it.
• Shortcut to Vegas: Right on La Cienega and left on La Tiera and you see that sign that says LAX?
• Swear to God at one point I was in the left lane and thought I was in the right lane.
• Except for the fact that I thought I was going to die, it was pretty
• If you don’t know how to drive in the rain, you can’t live in Florida
• The biggest thing I forgot about the snow is that you become blind
• During Mark Berman ad, Al said something like "…and their office is [down there] where there’s guaranteed to be no snow."
• Tonight the global warming lies
• 7000 years ago, the earth was much warmer than it is now according to the book of tonight’s guest
• 60 miles in 3 hours (back to snow trip story)
• Some of the people were speeding
• the Kia Sophia… scared to take this in regular temperature
• Every time he went forward, he would go backward twice as far back… guy in Chevy in front of him
• the ladies literally pulling their pants down in the brush
• Al Rantel audience is the coolest audience ’cause we’ve been through it all, right?

• *most of the beginning of this show was about Clinton’s "sociopath[ic]" interview done by Peter Jennings
• Yasser Arafat has already left the planet so we’re off to a great start (after saying he thought it might be "it" for Fidel Castro when he fell recently… also this was after Al was talking about how John Kerry is now blaming Osama Bin Laden for losing the election on November 2)
• Which one of the 10 commandments does the left consider dangerous?
• When you don’t stand for anything yourself, you have to demonize your opposition
• Let’s see the Democrats "contract with America"… write it down. They’ll never get elected.
• Closest thing to their contract with America is look at California… lab for what happens when Democrats rule… guess what? the lab rat died.
• Character is what counts… has nothing to do with your religious values or beliefs… it’s one thing: when no one is looking, what do I do… when the light is not shining… key is when the camera is not there, would you take the money out of the cash register… people would good character wouldn’t even think about doing that… wouldn’t matter if the camera was on or not.
• Imagine Gary Trudeau referring to Dr. Rice as "Brown Sugar." On her worst day, she’s smarter than all these people (shameless disgusting bigots on the left) put together
• Mel Gibson will not pay a penny for advertisement/marketing to promote Passion of the Christ Oscar nomination… do you think for a minute Hollywood would award this movie? Money well-saved, Mr. Gibson
• Even Clinton’s character is better than Annan’s… when that man dies, they’ll be screwing him into the ground
• Is Arkansas part of Europe? (after caller suggested Bill Clinton be elected to presidency of United States of Europe).
• Bill Clinton would fit right in where prostitution is legal and you can have sex with 13 & 14 year olds like you can in France
• Nobody could do worse than Kofi Annan… you could put an elephant in charge of the U.N. and at least he wouldn’t steal
• Imagine Bill Clinton using that (those lines) on Dan Rather?
• It shows that he’s a dysfunctional human being and I really mean that (about Clinton)
• …has a horrible personality flaw which is he cannot accept responsibility for his bad behavior… has it as a very dangerous part of his character
• Joked about the 86 year old who was planning to travel to the Philipines to "sleep with little girls"… At 86, would be sleeping a lot. Sleeping with a 60 year old would be robbing the cradle.
• Marriage was created to "bridle men;" otherwise, they’d be like gay men… sleeping with everything that walks
• Man should not do everything that he can do… should have moral compass… if people did whatever they wanted, there would be no structure and that would be the end.
• The rules are there for a reason
• Gee let’s make up something to ruin people’s lives (about somebody coming up with the 10 commandments)
• If people lived by [hippy rules], society would end

• When you live in the sewer, the sidewalk is a mountain.
• What man isn’t easy? Yeah, "Men Playing Hard to Get" … wonder how that show would do.
• My dream is to be on Desperate Housewives
• I thought men would give up anything for sex for any color
• Like Shakespeare said, "there’s only 7 stories"…
• Like Melrose Place on crack
• Maybe I’ll have a Desperate Housewives party at my house (whole country will be watching)
• If success breeds imitation… wonder what the other networks will do
• We promise Nicolette Sheridan will not be jumping into the arms of Mickey Mouse
• that may get the gay audience to tune in more (about having male cheerleaders in the NFL someday)

• Osama is a people… Adolph Hitler was a people…
• Terrorists are people, too… is that going to be your bumper sticker (to idiot caller who was defending this pile of garbage lying dead or wounded in the mosque and shot by our noble marine)

• (Al returns after being substituted by Curtis Sliwa in the mornings and Brian Whitman in the evenings)
• I wish I was as dumb as George W. Bush.
• Should bury Yasser Arafat face down so he can see where he’s going.